Thursday, November 1, 2012

Dear Chantelle Houghton and Alex Reid...

As Chantelle Houghton and Alex Reid's public feud turns ever uglier (Chantelle has now taken to Twitter, alleging not only that their relationship fell apart because of another man, but that Alex turned their then-home into a "sex dungeon", among other claims), Dom Bradbury - the man behind AngryBritain - has penned an open letter to the celebs...

Chantelle Houghton and Alex Reid (PA)

Dear Chantelle & Alex,

Fame is a funny thing, a bit like laundry. Some days you have more clean socks than you know what to do with; others you’re turning your pants inside out for another day’s use.

I’m no relationship counsellor but I’ve bought every issue of OK! you’ve been in* and worn my pants inside out often enough to try and reach out to you both with this open letter, not so much as a fan but more as a close friend and confident.

"Chantelle, it can’t be easy coming home to find Alex doing the vacuuming in your fishnets especially if he’s also used the last of your favourite lipstick..."

...Did it really escape your notice that he’d been pictured in the papers before he met you dressed as a woman, accompanied by a drag queen that bore an uncanny resemblance his ex Katie Price? …

Let’s face it, Alex’s choice of career is probably a contributing factor to his behaviour, all those knocks to the head in a cage can’t be good for anyone. Marrying Katie Price is proof, if proof was needed, that Alex isn’t ‘all there’.

And Alex, we all know woman can be tricky, I dare say even your alter-ego Roxanne suffers from the odd bout of PMT, but pregnant woman require extra special handling.

So, perhaps with hindsight constructing a ‘sex dungeon’ (as Chantelle has claimed) in the living room while Chantelle was eight months pregnant was pushing your luck ever-so-slightly.

"It’s pretty clear you two, or three if we count Roxanne, aren’t meant to be together."

Chantelle should’ve stuck with an ordinary boy like Preston, after all pre-Celebrity Big Brother she was just an ordinary girl. Until Alex decides whether he likes boys or girls the most, it’s probably for the best that he just gets a cat for company and Bridget Jones on DVD.

The trouble is, you two couldn’t wait to ride the wave of celebrity and sell your baby pictures to OK! and rushed headlong into producing a life, one that now needs it’s parents, and not auntie Roxanne. Nor does Dolly need you both airing your dirty laundry on Twitter like Chantelle has today because one day, thanks to the wonders of the internet, it will come back to sucker punch her.

And just look what sucker punching has done to her dad.

Your friend,


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