Friday, August 21, 2009

Can Winning the Weight Loss Battle Mean Losing the Love Battle?

Many people work incredibly hard to lose weight. They diet, exercise, struggle and sacrifice all in the name of becoming a more fit and healthier individual. They might use a support team, a popular diet like Weight Watchers, or invent their own method. However, they often find that once they’ve lost weight their spouse or significant other has negative feelings- they might be mad, upset or incredibly enough, jealous. They might make unkind comments, sabotage with former indulgences, and even accuse of infidelity or betrayal.

It's no laughing matter – it happens more often than you might think. So if you find yourself in this unfortunate situation, where weight loss equals love lost, how can you handle it at a time when you really want to feel supported and encouraged?

Remember, you lost the weight for you. Or you should have. Losing weight for someone else rarely works and can even backfire. While your successful weight loss can put you over the moon, it can uncover feelings of insecurity that your spouse didn't know existed. Take the time to listen to what he has to say. Maybe there is an infidelity in his past. Maybe your weight loss reminds of his own weight issues. There might be history with a parent or family member that is related to weight.

Ask your spouse to go to counseling with you. Do it for your relationship, but know that you can’t change his or her feelings. Also know that the insecurity is not your fault, and that you don’t own any part of it. Your spouse loved you heavy, and you aren’t any less lovable at a healthy weight. Believe that deep inside, and don’t allow him or anyone else to sabotage all of your incredibly hard work and accomplishments.

Learn more about maintaining a healthy diet at

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